Sirens were screaming all over the base & then a voice over the base PA tells us to seek shelter; a tornado is in the area. Supper is over in an instant as my husband, I, 3 children and many base personnel head for the stairwell. There we sat with the emergency lights flickering, the wind whipping loudly outside and a draft getting through the heavy metal door. I positioned my children under the metal staircase and with a calm demeanor tell them there is absolutely nothing to worry about; everything is fine; it’ll all be over in a moment. That was my outside – my inside was praying. I’ve never been in a tornado – earthquakes and hurricanes, but never in the middle of a tornado. The tornado touched down less than ¼ mile away. Later we would find out that many homes on the base were lost, outside the base is no better. This tornado had a 3 mile radius and it was angry. When the voice on the PA told us it was over, we went back upstairs to our room with thankful hearts – initially anyway. The power was out. The children were not thrilled about going to bed at 8:30 in the pitch dark (clouds were still blocking the moon and stars) no candles or flashlights – we are in a hotel.
Earlier I had to deal with the tornado in my heart. We had a family therapy session with my son and things are not progressing well. The therapist tells us he is being rude, instigating peers, very manipulative & seeking attention constantly – welcome to my world. I ask about the MRI – did the results show that the seizures are causing the hallucinations. The doctor still has not received the final written report, he doesn’t know what hemisphere of the brain the seizures are occurring – really, how long does it take to get a report??? She tells us it means little to his therapy. This may take care of the hallucinations – but it will do nothing for his RAD (reactive attachment disorder.) Really I already knew this, but I’m hoping without the hallucinations to fuel the fire, the RAD can be dealt with. She states that he is unwilling to deal with his trauma – who wouldn’t be? Rad kids are not born RAD – they are made. He has been through multiple homes before coming to us at the age of 6. He suffered a lot of neglect and abuse within his biological family. The records we received last year about his past make me cry every time I have to go through them for something – why would anyone want to bring all this stuff back up – but he must – it is his storm that he must learn to dance in, so that one day he can dance in the sunshine.
She talks about his IQ test and tells us why it is correct. She gives us a copy of the original evaluation. Being a teacher I know its right when I read everything – but my heart screams NO! He has so much stacked against him – this is just one more reason to be shunned by my fellow Christians. It’s funny, for a group of people against euthanasia – they sure would be happy if he disappeared. Fear breeds hatred – many say they are “protecting their children against his influence” They convince themselves they are being “good parents” by rejecting one of God’s creation. How is this “little child “to come to Christ if we never show Christ to him? Anyway – enough of my soap box --- the therapist explains that he saw a lot of violence in his imprinting years, this is hard for a regular RAD kid to overcome, but one with such a low IQ may not ever overcome his aggression. – The storm begins to pour – I have to hold onto that I was also told he would probably never attach to me – now he has attached to the family. God can do what God wants to do, despite what man may say.
8 more hours of traveling today…..
My heart is so heavy today with the drenching rains pouring down. I am grasping for the silver lining I cannot see. My dance is that of a twirling top -- but I guess it is still a dance.