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Life is an adventure. Sometimes I yearn for boredom, yet it never comes. This is an account of my struggles & triumphs- my struggle to know God & understand the "why" behind it all. "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain" This is just me - learning to dance - sometimes gracefully, but most the time - stepping on my 2 left feet..

Monday, April 25, 2011


The day began with no one wanting to get out of bed!  We stopped at the hotel at 2am last night and my little troopers were more than a little tired at 6am – but we needed to get to the hospital.  We had a therapy appointment with my youngest son at noon.  So off we went – tired or not.
Traveling was not a nice experience – my youngest had car sickness and the Dramamine did not work!  My poor baby,   she had us pull over the car several times so she could throw up.  Nothing helped; we tried medicine, flat warm ginger ale, peppermint – all in vain.  She was quite the little trooper though – hardly any whining at all and I know she was miserable.  Her whole face was pale – I would ask her if she was okay and she would say –“I’ll be okay Mommy, we need to get to the hospital”.
We did not make the 12:00 therapy appointment.  Stopping all those times put us very late, but the therapist was very nice – she had waited for us.  Our therapy session was very frustrating.  My son is being more than a little obstinate.  He has had quite a week.  They had given him medication to “calm him down” 7 times this week.  He was rude to the nurses and instigating his peers.  He  is supposed to get a pass from 1pm to 7pm tomorrow – he may or may not get that pass depending on how his behavior is tonight and in the morning.  I told him “Really ______,   the other kids have been in that van for 16 hours – your sister throwing up all day – just to come spend Easter with you.  They are very excited that we are going to do fun Easter things as a family – they did their part – it wasn’t a fun trip... Why are you not doing your part?  Why are you not behaving?   Your actions affect more people than just you….if you don’t get a pass then everyone spends Easter at the hospital – how do you think that is going to make everyone feel?”  He said “okay – I’ll try Mommy” I told him “there is no try – there is do or do not” (got to love Yoda wisdom).
My husband asked him why he was behaving that way – at home we do not give him medicine “to calm him down”.  Why is he acting that way now?  We put him in the hospital because of his hallucinations and because he was not using his safety plan with the hallucinations – not because he didn’t know how to behave.  (Not that he doesn’t have any behavior problems – he does – abandonment and abuse will do that to a child – but he doesn’t have the kind of behavior issues the nurses are talking about)  My son told my husband, it’s because the way the other kids are acting.  I’m not sure if the therapist approved of our answer.  We talked about Jimmy having Jesus living in him to help him...  he’s a Christian and needs to ask Jesus to help him when he feels like acting out.  Then my husband said what else is on your safety plan.  He said “I’m not allowed to listen to the radio” --- “Okay, but what is on your plan that you can do?”  “Pray, draw, read & talk to an adult” – “Okay, so those are the things we expect you to do”
I got his IQ results today – what a bunch of hooey that is!  Anyone that can master manipulate the way he does – cannot possibly have an IQ as low as they said.  The nurse even told me “now before I tell you the score – just know that everyone here knows that it’s wrong – there is no way!”
We gave him a hug and told him to be good – we’ll see you tomorrow.  I hope he behaves and doesn’t decide to test whether or not they are telling the truth about taking his pass.
We then came to the hotel room.  All I can say is WOW!  I’m so glad we are staying the TLF on base!  The kids have their own room and I have a full kitchen, washer and dryer... God is so good!  Tomorrow I will fix Easter lunch – just like if we were all at home together.  Then we will probably go to the park on base.
The kids all asked “if” he gets a pass tomorrow.  We explained that if he doesn’t just remember what is important is that we are all together as a family – where we are at is just the details.  If it rains – that’s our silver lining.

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