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Life is an adventure. Sometimes I yearn for boredom, yet it never comes. This is an account of my struggles & triumphs- my struggle to know God & understand the "why" behind it all. "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain" This is just me - learning to dance - sometimes gracefully, but most the time - stepping on my 2 left feet..

Sunday, July 3, 2011


My kids are often asked to be brave (feeling the fear and doing it anyway).  Loving someone with mental illness is not easy and it requires true bravery at times.  Many times though, we overlook at how this affects our kids everyday life - something they have learned in one area will cross over into other areas.

This week my eldest son and youngest daughter decided they wanted to try out for Missoula's Children’s Theatre.  This is a traveling theatre group that comes in - holds auditions and the children have one week of intense rehearsals and then a production.  We talked about while I was happy for them to try-out; they needed to be aware that there would be MANY cuts - not everyone would get a part.  They were convinced they wanted to do it -- so Monday morning bright and early we were in the community hall with almost 90 other children and their parents. 

The auditions seemed to go on forever -- the children were placed in a large circle and the directors would move children from one part of the circle to another after they said various lines- which kept all the parents wondering "was that a good move - or a you're getting cut move?".  Honestly I think all the parents were more nervous for our kids then the kids were...at least until "it" happened.  The director said "Now I need to hear you sing"  Oh no!!! My kids don't sing in front of people -- nobody said there would be singing!  He began having groups of 10 kids singing together and just would come by and listen in front of each child.  "Oh now - that's not soooo bad" I thought.  Then "it" happened -- he pointed at my son and one other boy and said "Move forward - I need to hear you sing alone"  Okay - there were well over a hundred people in this room - my stomach was in knots for my child.  I thought "He's never going to do it -- I know I wouldn't"  He pointed at my son and my son did the most amazing thing.  He nonchalantly looked around the room and opened his mouth and in a clear loud voice began to sing.  Wow - I was so proud -- not because he sounded good (which he did) but because he did it!

I asked him after the audition if he were scared and he said "terrified - but I knew if I wanted the part I needed to do it"  Bravery -- feeling the fear and doing it anyway.  On Friday night my son made the best Gryphon & my daughter the best lobster Alice in Wonderland has ever seen.

It may seem like a small feat to you - but I think it's huge.  How many opportunities pass us by because we are scared?  How many times do we not do the right thing because we are fearful?  God did not give us the "spirit of fear" hmmm... so who do you think it is that does?

Be brave in your life today - whether it is something that you know that you should do or something that you really want to do.  Be brave --- feel the fear and do it anyway.

Dancing with pride in my children,


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