Help for Psychosis

Today I had the opportunity to attend a conference call with the Director of NAMI, Dr. Ken Duckworth.  The call was to address various issues in adolescent mental health.  I found it extremely interesting.  Because some of the parents that read my blog have mentally ill children , I wanted to share something that I was amazed at. 

One woman asked a question about the various drugs for psychosis and how they related to suicidal tendencies -- off of this question came a discussion about a double blind study pertaining to fish oil.  Dr Duckworth cautioned never to stop the medication prescribed for your child, but encouraged anyone who had a child that experienced psychosis to talk to their doctor about this study.  It showed very promising results.

Basically the study took several young people who were predisposition to have phychosis and conducted a study with no other medication than fish oil.  The study showed a dramatic drop in phychosis in patients using the fish oil.  Dr Duckworth said they would be redoing the study and it was his opinion that the directors of the study could very well be the next Nobel Prize recipients.

To view an overview of this study go to www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/news/20100201/fish-oil-vs-psychosis   For the actual medical overview go to http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/67/2/146

Hope this helps someone out there.

Dancing in Knowledge,

Amy

New Attitude!

Okay Time for a new attitude. My husband calls me an incurable optimist. I haven't been very optimistic the last few days. Time to get my humor back. This trip has been nearly impossible so far -- if it can go wrong -- it has. So I have decided that I have officially reached the valley -- time to start climbing the mountain. " Things can only go up from here." (I know - I'm so cheesy :) )

1.) Today we will make a schedule. My kids love structure (they actually have been asking for the schedule) - things go much smoother when the kids know what to expect.

2.) I will laugh at myself today -- things are really not that bad -- I will see the humor in the situation.

3.) I will remind myself just who is really in control. God worked everything out so quickly and smoothly for us to come up here -- surely He can handle a little thing like a hotel.

4.) I will remember to be grateful for the things that I have instead of looking at the things I want.

5.) I will remind myself that my kids are just kids and they react to my stress.

6.) We have family therapy tonight - I will decide before the fact -- Even if my little one is not doing what he is supposed to do, this therapy will work -- it just takes time.

This week is going to be better. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us.

Dancing in anticipation,

Amy

We Made It!

Well nothing went like I planned -- but we are HERE!!!!!!! We had a major bump in the road on Friday, so although we still left at 4:30 - it was pm and not am. Oh well, at least we hit the bump before we left Florida. Things were going pretty well on the road - my hubby had decided to take a different route than last time to see if it would be a little faster & I think that it would have been - had we not taken a wrong turn in Mississippi. That little turn ended up costing us almost 4 hours. I was very proud of hubby though -- he really took it in stride. Just a year ago, a minor detour would have had him very upset - this one however; he took with a sigh and turned around. We decided "it's no big deal - we didn't have a specified time to be there tonight anyway" It was a sheer act of will to have a good attitude, but we pulled it off. By the time we arrived at the base it was after midnight and we were exhausted (22 hours of driving). I was a little less than amused when the clerk told us she didn't have us down for a "pet room" - we would have to go elsewhere. I took a deep breath reminding myself this wasn't her fault and explained that this happened last time we were here so this week we had called 3 times to verify the reservation -- 2 adults, 3 children, 1 dog - 90 days. She said she was sorry & I said I wanted to speak to a manager. "There's none available till Monday." I said "Call one". Long story short - we ended up in a one bedroom - where my son slept on the chair because they do not have cots. The base also neglected to tell us when you have an extended stay you pay 30 days upfront -- this would have been nice bit of information to have.

This morning I went to the office and all I could work out was we can move into a 2 bedroom on the 18Th - but they then have us in and out of the base all summer...UGH!!! My attitude really wants to just have a pity party at this point, but I don't have the time. Please pray for me tomorrow as I will finally get to speak to a manager in person. Pray for my attitude as I REALLY do not want to have a good one & pray that we get this resolved.

On a good note we did get to see my son. We saw him for approximately 45 minutes -- he lost his pass which made me sad yesterday - but today, I think it was much easier trying to deal with the whole situation minus one child.

I'm glad the day is winding down; I'm tired & ready to put the children into bed. I can't think about it anymore today...I'll think about it tomorrow....After all tomorrow is another day (insert Gone With the Wind theme music here)

Dancing wearily,

Amy

Off to Arkansas

The house is so quiet (a rare and precious thing).  No one is up yet but me.  We all were up really late last night getting ready for the trip today.  We had planned on leaving really early this morning - but there was a bump in the road.  If nothing, I have learned to be flexible. I no longer "promise" my children we will do anything - I never want them to remember me as someone who didn't keep her word. So now I always say "that's the plan" or if they persist "I promise to try" and I have found since I have done this mental shift everyone is much happier.  I don't get all bent out of shape trying to do the impossible because plans change and I know they can trust me.

So this morning I am telling myself "It's okay we are not on the road yet - plans change and they get adjusted"  I really need to keep this in the front of my brain so that I don't drive everyone crazy with my anxiety.  I like my plans to go the way I planned them, but is it really that big of a deal if we leave this morning or this afternoon - we get the same result - we go to Arkansas.  In 20 years will this really matter?

Last night was eventful.  We had our adoption/foster care meeting.  The group has changed so much from when I was first there 3 years ago.  Back in the day, it was ALL RAD mommies and daddies.  Now it's a nice mix - there are a lot of "Newbies" waiting for their child to be placed with them. I love the anticipation stage - they are so excited.  I just want to bottle that feeling.  We had a therapist talk to us and then I gave a short presentation on "free" things to do over the summer.  This list was really long so rather than making a bunch of copies, I put it in "blog form".  If you live in the Brandon, FL area check out the site  www.raindancerhelps.blogspot.com .

When I arrived home my sister and parents were here.  So everyone said their “good-byes”.  My youngest had a really hard time – She asked if she could stay with Grandma this summer – I said “I know you would enjoy the first week baby, and maybe part of the second; but by the third week you would really miss me”  She replied  “As much as Grandma?”  “Yes, you would miss me as much as you will miss Grandma”  Then my mom was having a hard time – she was quietly saying “Let her Amy”.  But alas, I was a meanie – I’m taking her with me.  After everyone left, my husband pulled up Google and started showing her all the things we could do in Arkansas – this helped quite a bit. It is our summer of adventure – summer of attachment.  I encourage all you other RAD mommies out there to make the mental shift from "summer is scary to summer is attachment time"  We have to have time with our kids to attach - summer is perfect.

Well I think I'm going to ruin my quiet place and get everyone up. Hmmmm... maybe I'll just get hubby up for now  J .

Dancing with Anticipation,

Amy

Court & Slowing Down

Court went well yesterday.  Our lawyer and DCF (Department of Children and Families) spent more time arguing BEFORE the judge came in than the actual court time took.  I just sat there and listened - it's amazing what a lawyer thinks of that I never would - so glad we have one.

As I'm getting ready for Arkansas I find myself having to "reassess" some of my goals.  I am a goal maker.  I LOVE the big picture & making all the goals and steps that are needed to get there ( sometimes the carrying out of the steps are hard for me -- but the planning process -- I love)  Because I am this type of person my goals are sometimes too big.  Do you ever do that?  I try to teach my children to challenge themselves with goals - but still make those goals within reach.  I have to remind them sometimes that it's okay to have several small goals that lead up to a big one - you don't just have to have the big one.  This is where I find myself this morning - maybe I need to make some of these goals for the summer smaller & not put a time frame on the "big one" that they lead up too.

As the children are packing for the summer I find myself saying - "Don't forget your Biblebee things, pack whatever school books you are not finished with yet, don't forget your guitars so you can continue practicing."  Plus we are talking about the different activities we will do while we are in Arkansas.  I have high hopes for my son that is in residential.  And we are going to bond like never before as a family.

Hmmmm - so basically we are going to do everything we do now - plus Biblebee plus spend time at the hospital plus lots of fun summer activities & still end up like "the Waltons" by the end of the summer  hmmm "good night John boy"....Okay I need to rethink -- What are my goals for the summer? - I need to streamline so that everyone can feel successful and happy.  Everyone follows mama's lead - when I do too much so do they & it makes everyone cranky -- simplicity -- that is what we need -- or a least something simpler than going at 90 miles an hour all summer.  Busyness does not  equal structure.

A long time ago my pastor in Japan, Chuck Gafford said "There are many good things life has to offer - God wants to give you the best things.  You can't always have the best things if you have already filled everything up with the good things - leave room for God to help you in your plans so that you can have the best things"  We've been gone from Japan about 16 years now - yet I still remember that part of the sermon.

I want the best things for my children - not just the good things - today I have to slow down - reprioritize and rethink which goals need to be moved to the top of my list and to which ones it is okay to say good-bye.

Dancing the two step instead of the Macarena,

Amy

!!!! 90 DAYS !!!!

Great News!!!  My husband's detail has been approved!  They told him this morning.  We leave June 10th and will spend the entire summer in Arkansas.  I am very excited as I feel this may be what my son needs to help him move through his therapy.  No one likes to be so far away from home, but a child with as many abandonment issues as he has - well, I fear he is viewing this as one more abandonment.  I can't wait till our phone time tomorrow night so I can tell him.

As excited as I am - I am equally as overwhelmed.  There is so much to do before we leave.  Besides the general cleaning that has to be done before you leave a home for 90 days - there is the house sitter, taking the car in, the vet, deciding which things we cannot live without for the next 90 days (and remembering that it all has to fit in the van).  I have a feeling that my idea on this and my children's idea on this is going to vary drastically.  And general packing.  I have already contacted the military liaison and he is feverishly working to get us TLF on base - I pray he can do so.

I am so grateful to God for working all of this out for us.  The chances that a persons employer would allow you to work just for the summer in another state and keep your current position open for you upon your return is almost unheard of -- it is a mountain that my God has moved.  He has moved us from a state that did not have the health care that my son required to a state that did.  He has taken it from a situation from the state telling us we had to choose between our children - to our children all being in the same area.  My God is the God of impossibilities.  I have lived a literal nightmare over the past 6 years, through this nightmare I have learned - there is nothing my God can't do. I want to encourage you - no matter what it is - ask God for His help.  He has brought us through living with the violence of RAD, loving someone who only now is learning how to return that love (sometimes), and almost losing a child to the state among many other horrific things to many to name in this one blog.  The point is this -He has been there for me and He will be there for you too if you want him to be -- He's always just a prayer away.

Dancing with the sun on my face,

Amy

Listening to the Radio

Sometimes hope comes in the form of a song. That happened to me today. I was driving down the road and heard this song -- It immediately made me think of my little RAD and put a smile on my face. I hope it makes all you other RAD mommies feel as good as it made me feel.

Dancing With The Radio Blaring,

Amy