bittersweet

Today was a bittersweet day for me.  Monday we start school full swing (we only did the subjects that are in our co-op this week), so I was busy most the day with lesson planning and preparations.  I know 3 of my 4 kids are going to have a fabulous school year.  I have planned wonderful activities for them and my youngest has lesson plans packed full of games and all the "artsy stuff" that she adores.  I am in sweet anticipation of what the year will bring for them.

Well that was the "sweet part".  As I was doing prep work to some of the projects for my youngest - I was sad and happy at the same time.  Happy because she will enjoy learning....sad because this time last year I had to prepare 2 projects not one.  My son is still not medically ready to be home.  It strikes an awful cord in my heart.  Most of you do not realize how long it has been - so I'll share --- it's been 8 months since my son has been in my home. I miss him.  Despite all the many problems - he is so funny and sweet.  I miss the ever source of energy that used to exhaust me.  I miss taking his hand and trying to explain things that just do not come easy to him.  I miss his soft blond hair & saying night time prayers with him.  I miss his unending excitement. 

I am very thankful that he is getting the help he needs.  I am thankful that even though our insurance has exhausted - he will continue getting treatment just in a new environment.

I am thankful for many things - but tonight -- well tonight, I am just a mommy missing her child.

Slow dancing,

Amy