worry

After I told my children I was writing a blog, they each decided they wanted to write one too.  My son decided he wanted to write one about life with a RAD brother.  To begin with I didn't think it was such a good idea - then I decided it would be good therapy for him.  He could keep it a secret blog like I did in the beginning with only strangers reading it.
Then a couple of days ago he asked the dreaded question, "Mom, can I publish my blog to my facebook like you do?"  Fear of him being hurt engulfed me - this is not something I wanted to see him do.  So I sat down and had a "heart to heart" with my baby.  I reminded him about when it came out that his brother had a mental illness.  He knew that we had to leave one of our homeschool groups we were in because his brother was not welcome in it.  But he did not know the full extent of everything.  So, if he is going to put his heart on the line, he needs to know what he is doing.  I shared with him how to this day there are a couple of women in our group that when they see me they turn around and walk the other way (hard to believe I know - but it's happened too many times now to be a coincidence).  His little heart broke as he realized the reason that a friend that once came over our house that no longer does.  Sometimes mothers do not want their children associating with anyone in the family.  I explained to him that he is taking a big chance - "some people may not want to be your friend anymore once they know."  His response surprised me.  He said, "then they really are not my friends, are they?"

He asked me why Christians responded the way they did when they found out about his brother.  Some of these people are really good Christians.  "Well, I've had a long time to think about this.  I hurt for a very long time over the way the Christian community responded to our situation.  I think I understand a little better now.  People fear what they do not understand.  Especially in spiritual realms.  Mental illness rocks our image of what the Christian life is supposed to be.  Typically - we just can't "pray it away" or the afflicted doesn't die.  So the problem doesn't go away -- it stays and it serious.  The Christian community can come along side a mother of a terminally ill child - but a mentally ill child -- well that's a different matter.  It rocks their world.  It's totally out of their comfort zone.  I think, just as God is using your brother to teach us, He is also using him to teach others.  None of us are perfect, we are all just learning."

He agreed and said he still wanted to post his blog.  So he did.

Dancing with worry,

Amy